Mom Gets Locked Out

So, today was an exciting day...Sam locked me out of the bathroom to go "swimming" in the bathtub! He tried this yesterday and got in trouble for running the bath water and getting in without mom or dad in the bathroom, so today he wised up a bit and locked me out.
The story is best told by the text messages, phone calls, and Facebook postings I was making...

10:59 am-txt to hubby...Ok. So now what?...he's locked me out of the our bathroom and has put water in the bathtub and is playing in the bathtub!

11:05 am-phone call from hubby at work..."Are you kidding?" I go on to explain that I can see him through the crack in the door and he's looking at me and grinning as I tell him to open the door. Hubby suggests bribing him with food, telling him I'm leaving...I've done everything from the nice mommy to the scary mad mommy...he still just smiles and jumps back in the tub. I keep having to hide my face because I'm laughing so hard...in between moments of rage and near tears. I try to force the door open numerous times, but it's not budging. I inspect the door to see if there's any way to remove it. We discuss how to break the outside window should he fall and hurt himself. We try to get him to come out to talk to daddy on the phone. He comes to the crack in the door and says, "hi daddy". I tell him he needs to come out to talk to him and he happily exclaims, "I don't need to talk!" I feel completely helpless and powerless. I decide to just wait it out...I can see him, he's not hurt, and he's got to get bored, hungry or want me at some point, right?

11:15 am-I resort to Facebook...
Me...wonders if I'll survive the toddler years...he has locked me out of the bathroom and is playing in the bathtub, yes, with water in it!...laughing at me telling him to open the door. (The "lock-out" is because he got in trouble for this same thing yesterday.) Looking for immediate suggestions (I really don't want to break the door)...anyone?
Christina...OMG - not precious Sam!!!! Is he in his bathroom with both doors locked???
Me...He's actually in my bathroom and it's a pocket door. So I can see him through the crack. I'm trying to wait it out since I can see he's safe. Jessica, thanks for the offer...will let you know.
Kristen...Go set off the alarm...or smoke detector.
Rob...leave him alone mommy...its what boys do.
Kari...Can you use a coin on the flip-lock? That is how I used to get it unlocked. Or perhaps you could lift it a little and slide it???
Kristen...I hope he doesn't have the marker in there too...
Rob...its not a marker he's playing with
Kristen...How do you know? Are bats chirping to you...telling you what they see? haha

11:20 am-txt to hubby...Greatness! I must have bent the lock, now he says he can't unlock it. He's terrified! I'm about to see if I can get him to crank the window open then I can cut the screen if I have to.

11:26 am-I call Gramps, explaining our "small emergency". He leaves work.

11:30 am-Rob calls...Uh...read your Facebook post and was adding some funny comments then realized you might really be in trouble...Are you serious?

Back to Facebook...
Jessica...My husband just said there should be an emergency release the size of a pin hole on the outside of the lock, if it is a wrap around lock on the pocket door. You should be able to unlock with a wire hanger just like on a regular door. Or there should be a coin emergency release, either way there is a way to unlock it!! Call him...
Megan...I say kick it in ninja-style... he probably will be surprised and too scared to lock you out again! :) hahaha
Me...Apparently I bent the lock trying to jam it open...he's ready to come out now and can't unlock the door. Im now outside trying to take the window off. Gramps is on his way to help us. Good thing is he's safe and not gotten hurt...he's scared now, and I think he's already learned his lesson.

Before Gramps arrives, I manage to coach Sam through opening the window. John suggests trying to have Sam get one of my heals out to use like a hammer to hit the (now bent) lock. I try, but he never understands what I'm telling him to do. From outside, I get 5 of the 6 screws out of the brackets that hold the window in the frame.

Gramps arrives and starts working on the sixth screw, but can't get it out. The entire time, Sam in on the other side of the window..."Hi Gramps! What are you doing here? Where's Gran? Hi Gramps!"

Kristen...LMAO...I hope Beaux finds humor is this before the end of the day!
Shelby...OMG! I remember those days - Beau had locked his door to their room but Luke was hurt and so Beau was scared to open the door
Me...He's free! Was able to get the window off from outside. It's a crank window...glad he knows how to open it. Popped out the screen, got Sam out, then Gramps hoisted me through the window, and I was able to unlock the door. Good thing the child didn't open the door during the first few minutes, bc momma was MAD! Turns out, I think he scared himself into a good lesson. Glad to hear other stories bc you feel like the only parent with such a mischievous child when you're going through it. Whew! now for the afternoon...what will IT bring?

12:32 pm-txt to hubby...All is well...I got through the window, unlocked the door, your dad took the lock off and bent it back.

The rest of the Facebook posts through the end of the day...
Me...Not sure I'm laughing about it just yet...I was laughing at him laughing at me while it was going on though...between moments of rage and near tears!
Ginny...I am trying not to laugh. I know that was probably stressful. I hear that if we can get them to 3 that life will get easier...please God!
Me...I know it must be funny! :) Ginny, my worst days don't compare to yours I'm sure...you probably have MANY days when you wonder if you'll survive.
Kristen...On a positive note, he has great follow through...he saw this all the way to the end!!!! I'm still giggling!
Mom...Wow AND he has now learned that he can crank the window and crawl OUT!
Me...HA! Mom, I thought the same thing. He's seen us do it before but I didn't think he was capable of cranking it...today I was glad to see he could. But, I didn't feel right saying, "Sam, you know those things on the window in the playroom that mommy and daddy tell you not to play with...the ones that open the window and make the alarm go off...yeah, those...go flip those up!"

This was exhausting! I haven't been this emotionally exhausted since going through all the drama of buying our house. Glad for Pop who came and gave me a break this afternoon.

And here's the window I had to pull Sam through and climb through myself...the BOTTOM part!...that's the only part that cranks open! Good thing I'm only 4 months pregnant.