Just Ben

I made a very hard decision about a month ago regarding school for Ben this year and yesterday all my doubts, "what ifs", and second guessing went away.

Sam goes to a wonderful, small, private preschool with a unique science-based curriculum.  Kids can start there at 18 months old, as opposed to the normal three year old start age for most preschools in our area.  Last year was Sam's first year at this preschool and I was so excited that Ben would have the opportunity to start this year in their 18-24 month old program.  John stood firm all year last year, telling me Ben was not starting school until age 2 1/2-3 like Sam did.  Every time it came up, we disagreed on this, and neither of us was budging.  But, John agreed to allow Ben to go to a 3-day mini camp in June to see how he would do at school...and he did well...and a month or so later John agreed to allow Ben to start school this year.  And then just two days before our tuition payment was due, some things changed, and I started having second thoughts about Ben going to school this year.  He loves Sam's school and is there enough that it is familiar and he knows people and people know him, so I knew he'd be comfortable and well taken care of. But, then I started thinking...if Ben is in school two days and I sign up for the classes I want to do with him (music, art, Play Wisely), we'd actually only have one unscheduled morning a week.  And the alternative was: no school + signing up for our classes = still three unscheduled days a week to do whatever we want to do.  And then I thought back to the year before Sam started school (and after he'd dropped his morning nap) and all the fun things we were able to do together...we were little buddies and I loved every minute of it.  And I realized, with Sam being in school five mornings a week, I could have every morning to be with just Ben and he could kind of be like an only child Monday through Friday from 8:45-12:15.  And so, I agonized over this for two days, because for a year I had it in my head that Ben would get to start at Sam's school this year...and I talked to people to get others' opinions...and I had an upset stomach for two days (because I was about to drop a bomb on the school director who I think so highly of and had to figure out how to tell her this) ...I was stressed...and hubby was out of town on his annual fishing trip so I was holding him on the phone for extended amounts of time talking about this...

But...

Yesterday, Ben and I went to the zoo together while Sam was at school.

And Ben didn't have to ride in the stroller because I was trying to keep up with two children...

Ben set the pace...

We went to see what Ben wanted to see...

We stood in front of the elephant exhibit for 15 minutes because Ben wanted to watch the elephants...

Ben's best elephant sound face

And he wasn't rushed on to something else by his older brother who's been there, seen it, done it and ready to move on...

Ben climbed up and down the same steps over and over again...

He got to drive the Jeep without having to take turns...

We stopped to look at every airplane that flew overhead...

Ben's best airplane sound face

And the whole morning was just about Ben.  We've never had this kind of time together.  And yesterday showed me that Ben not being in school this year is an okay decision...actually, a great decision...and I'm so excited about this year now, because this is who I get to spend my mornings with this year...