AM underwear count: 2
PM underwear count: 1 (the same second pair from the morning)Yes sir...do the math...that was ONE accident today!
Timer intervals: 15-30 minutesI feel like we broke through today...or maybe I was just lucky and was "on" with the timing...yesterday our timing was obviously "off". Today we went to Sam's normal Tuesday Play Wisely class and I was a wreck! I left the house with three changes of clothes packed in plastic bags and towels. My stomach was in knots, I was nervous, and didn't know what to do with myself...it was the same feeling I had when we were driving Sam home from the hospital after being born...yep, that bad! I hadn't felt that way since he was a newborn. Sam pottied at 11:45 before we left the house, (then I put him on the potty three times while we were at the school) and he didn't go again until 1:05 (in the cute little portable potty I am keeping in the back of my truck) when we were leaving the school.
A few more tips and products I've discovered: (for some of you who have potty training on the horizon)
-(from my friend Jessica) Mix some water and a little detergent (I also put in some Oxo Brite) in a bucket to keep in the laundry room to toss soiled clothes in throughout the day. It neutralizes the odor a little and keeps you from scrubbing clothes all day long. Then do all the laundry and scrubbing at the end of the day.-Potty Watch-Sam's personality really requires us to rely heavily on a timer...we've been using my phone. Someone recommended this one to me because it goes with him and allows him to be more in control of the situation.
-Leak-resistant cloth underwear for those times you need some leak protection...we'll be putting these to the test tomorrow for our "Big Adventure on the 5th day of potty training"...will blog about that later.
-Keep plastic bags of clothes in your car, for accidents...fresh clothes handy and a place to put soiled clothes. (another one from my friend Jessica)
Stay tuned...
-Keep plastic bags of clothes in your car, for accidents...fresh clothes handy and a place to put soiled clothes. (another one from my friend Jessica)
Stay tuned...
5 comments:
Don't feel bad! I don't know one mom who hasn't given their child a treat for using the potty. I just quit offering treats after a while, and then they eventually quit asking!
a little bribe never hurt anyone! ;) Great job, Jen! ...oh, and SAM!!!!
what a great day for you both! I would love to know what you read on the cons of bribing...I have always heard moms say they had "treats" for potty training. A mom down the street filled a jar with wrapped gifts (all from dollar store) and they got to open one every time they went pee pee (or myabe only poo poo) and when they were gone, they were gone...
I have to say, I think it is too cute that the treat under scrutiny here is a teeny tiny MINI CHIP!
Congratulations to all of you on the progress you have made. You can bet I am filing away all of this for this summer when we try it ourselves.
Thanks for posting about all the details of this process...it gives me a good idea of what we have to look forward to!
Rachael,
Let me try to hit the high points from the potty training book I read, Stress Free Potty Training, to answer your question.
Dr. Stavinoha, the author, is speaking from a (textbook) psychology perspective. He has a few pages in the book on "Positive Reinforcement versus Rewards". He defines positive reinforcement as things like "positive statements, praise, hugs", etc.
He says that positively reinforcing good behavior (in potty training) in this manner molds your child into the kind of person who is "intrinsically motivated, ambitious, and persistent...will attribute success to his own effort...Gratification comes from a job well done, and failure results in more effort as he possesses the confidence to succeed independently...positive reinforcement ingrains this kind of attitude into your child's very nature and it will serve him well into adulthood."
On the other hand,
"Rewards like candies or toys can create extrinsic, or derived, motivation in the short term (which is why most parents use them)." He is careful to say, "We're not immune to using this kind of reward occasionally...However, habitual use of external rewards can suppress the development of independence and sense of achievement...their behavior becomes about the 'thing' they get rather than just being the right thing to do."
He goes on to say that even though both praise and rewards are "reinforcing to the child' the effect of candy/gifts "may be fleeting and there is no carry-over...the behavior is associated with the 'thing' only." He says not only is positive reinforcement "more potent in the long run, it is more likely to stimulate that intrinsic motivation we all want our kids to have...and shows them that they represent something more valuable than a piece of chocolate--our respect and admiration."
So, he says, "praise is healthier" and "allows us to specifically target what we really want to reinforce--effort, willingness, interest." And then with that type of specific feedback they "begin to value the same traits we are reinforcing--persistence, tolerance, overcoming frustration, patience, bravery, commitment to a goal, and so on."
Dr. Stavinoha says that "There is no time like early childhood to start working on the development of an internal achievement-orientation."
All very strong statements, I realize, but he IS a pediatric neuropsychologist, so it is probably what anyone would expect to hear from someone like him.
He does talk more about how an "external reward can be appropriate, if used used in the correct manner...By tying the reinforcer (reward)to the specific potty skill learned, you also teach your child about good consequences stemming from his actions...It's all about your presentation technique."
He uses, as one example, a dad who says he'll take his son to a movie he wants to see as soon as he's going pee pee on the potty. The dad explains they can't go until the boy is out of diapers because if they have to step out to change his diaper, they'd miss parts of the movie. So, "instead of using a tangible reward for the child doing what the parent wants, the reward is presented as a natural consequence of the child's accomplishment...she/he retains ownership and learns a more long-term lesson." It's a very fine line, but makes sense after reading and rereading the examples and explanations in the book.
Okay...hope this helps...or it may not...may just stress you out and make you afraid to use M&Ms like I was! LOL!
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